It should have gone that way.

I’ve been one of those “delusional” Harmony shippers ever since I first read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.  Here’s why-

  • There is a guy I’ve known since childhood who constantly tests my patience and drives me up the wall. We can’t spend an hour together without having an explosive argument, though we have occasional bouts of affection for each other. So like R/Hr, right?  The boy in question is my younger brother. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that siblings constantly annoy each other.
  • If I wanted to show sexual tension between R/Hr, I’d have written their arguments as playful and teasing, not as vicious shouting matches that end with Hermione bursting into tears. Just to make my point clear, THIS is sexual tension (between Scarlett and Rhett in Gone With the Wind)-

“Eavesdroppers —” she began furiously.

“Eavesdroppers often hear highly entertaining and instructive things,” he grinned. “From a long experience in eavesdropping, I—”

“Sir,” she said, “you are no gentleman!”

“An apt observation,” he answered airily. “And, you, Miss, are no lady.” He seemed to find her very amusing, for he laughed softly again. “No one can remain a lady after saying and doing what I have just overheard. However, ladies have seldom held any charms for me. I know what they are thinking, but they never have the courage or lack of breeding to say what they think. And that, in time, becomes a bore. But you, my dear Miss O’Hara, are a girl of rare spirit, very admirable spirit, and I take off my hat to you. I fail to understand what charms the elegant Mr. Wilkes can hold for a girl of your tempestuous nature. He should thank God on bended knee for a girl with your — how did he put it? —‘passion for living,’ but being a poor-spirited wretch —”

“You aren’t fit to wipe his boots!” she shouted in rage.

“And you were going to hate him all your life!” He sank down on the sofa and she heard him laughing.

Compared to that, and similar scenes in other books, the R/ Hr fights are like childish sibling rivalry.

  • They say that R/Hr would be a good couple because “these uptight girls, they like them funny.” Ok, so Ron does make her laugh occasionally, when he’s not busy being spiteful and making her cry. But Ron’s not the only character with a sense of humour.  At least Fred and George make people laugh consistently. And I don’t know how to break this to you, but Harry Potter is the the wittiest and sassiest guy in the series. No one without a sense of humour can survive their childhood surrounded by the Dursleys, Snape, Malfoy and so on.
  • On the other hand, H/Hr are not even remotely like siblings. They  always support, admire and respect each other. They don’t lash out at each other vindictively when they have disagreements. With the kind of relationship they share, they will always have the first place in each other’s affections, so it’s stupid to pair them with anyone else.

Hermione turned and beamed at Harry; her eyes, too, were full of tears.
‘…then I declare you bonded for life.’ 

Unfortunately-

  • I’ve never bought into the “opposites attract” theory. I always find that I like people who are like me. I prefer what Emily Bronte wrote in Wuthering Heights-

He is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.

  • Ron has always been so jealous and insecure about his brother’s achievements and Harry’s fame. So I don’t understand how someone with an inferiority complex like his can be a good partner for an overachiever like Hermione.  Harry takes pride in Hermione’s abilities and never tries to belittle her.

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  • The H/G relationship is the most preposterous literary romance I’ve ever come across. Ginny was just a shy girl who hero- worshiped Harry, who never took much notice of her. Then, in the fifth book, Ginny suddenly morphed into a kind of “Cool Girl” (famously described in Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl). Then in HBP, Harry  suddenly developed a massive crush on Ginny out of nowhere and they got together. I think that Hermione is the only girl who really knows and understands Harry. Even if H/Hr were biological siblings, Luna would be better for Harry than Ginny.
  • My idea of love is best described by these lines from Far from the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy, which could have been written for H/Hr-

“This good fellowship – camaraderie – usually occurring through the similarity of pursuits is unfortunately seldom super-added to love between the sexes… Where, however, happy circumstances permit its development, the compounded feeling proves itself to be the only love which is strong as death – that love which many waters cannot quench, nor the floods drown, besides which the passion usually called by the name is as evanescent as steam.”

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